Hate. Hate. Hate.

I love how we love hating

I love how the world is hateful, but we hate nicely, we're having fun

I love how we hate those people not personally

I love how we didn't even talk shit about people after we said we hate them

I love how the word hate represents anything

I love how even when we talk about it, nobody's going to be offended

I love that we don't hurt people, we always use unreadable words addressed to unknown

I love how we hate generally but not too deep

I love how we decided not to talk again to those people, what for anyway

I love how we always want to be on the outside of the society and be alone in our room

I love how we stay away from them

I love how we stopped giving a shit about what anyone thinks

And I wish you do too, because if you do, you should be okay with our hatred exposed like this

I love that we are not haters, we just hate

Haters are so lame and it's the people, not us.

Our demons get along very well.

Petrichor

I'm not rainbow
I'm not filled with some colorful colors and stuffs
I don't show myself up proudly after the rain
Nobody's excited or waiting for me to beautify the sky
I don't even like rainbow at all

I'm petrichor
Just a smell that comes after the very first water of rain falls to the ground
Even people don't think I'm there and I'm not hoping so
I'm invisible, can't be seen
Can't be talked about for hours like rainbow

I'm petrichor
Nobody cares but,
At least I have a name.

Really

So this is the number I'm afraid of
I put my head on his shoulder and realized
All this time I'm this little girl who's stuck on bigger body
And for this kind of case, having a birthday is getting harder
I cry, I cry, I cry.
I really don't want to grow up, I just want to always be that little girl with plain mind
No worries, no sadness, no hurt feelings, no being left out
I don't want to grow up, I want to stay, even go back
With that kind of number from 1 to 10, I was the happiest
I even ever think that since 15, my mental stop growing up.
I don't want to be older.
I cry, I cry, I cry.
I realized more, there are so many things a grown up should do
Could I do all those things? Could I figure out anything?
I want to go back years before.
When everything is less complicated, easier.
I cry, I cry, I cry.

I really did this.
I really cried at me being old.

Pathetic

You're so pathetic that you always regret what you didn't do while you had so many times to do it yet you postpone it until the time is over. You're so pathetic that your laziness is eating your brain and heart and making you can't move your hands and feet. You're so pathetic that you can't get along with someone new even with someone you already know because you're too scared of their responses while there's nothing to worry about. You're so pathetic that you're fat, your tummy is wrapped by fats. You're so pathetic that you're talking too much about yourself but nobody listens even hears to your story because its just so pointless. You're so pathetic that you're dumb, you don't know about any recent stories. You're so pathetic that you're friendless, you can't keep friends because you're failed at having conversations and being funny. You're so pathetic that you're so unlucky. You're so pathetic that you're so me.

Saying This For Me

Dia

Dia terlalu menyedihkan untuk hal semenyenangkan ini

Dia mau, tapi tidak berani

Dia bisa, tapi sekitarnya memaksa untuk mengurungkan niatnya

Pulangkan saja dia, pulang ke bawah tempat tidur

Seberapa canggih pun permet karet yang habis dikunyahnya

Tak cukup kuat menempelkan gelap di terang itu

Dia kalah telak, dia sendirian

Apapun yang terjadi setelah ini, dia bisa mati

Teriakannya yang ragu tidak terdengar

Siapa juga yang bersedia membuka telinga untuknya?

Sampai serak, sampai tenggorokannya terluka

Dia tetap sendirian

Kasihan.

Anak mama.

Reasons Why I Love Summer Finn and 500 Days Of Summer

The first reason is I found reasons.
I watched that movie when I just broke up. I was single and started to convince myself that there was nothing wrong with being single. And Summer Finn told me, not directly, this lines;

“I like being on my own. Relationships are messy and people's feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We're young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. We might as well have fun when we can and save the serious stuff for later”

and this;

“I just don't feel comfortable being anyone's girlfriend. I don't actually feel comfortable being anyone's anything.”

So I kept what Summer stated in my head for sure. I didn't feel miserable and didn't have to. I was happy living my life without being anyone's. Until now, though I have hidden that mind because I now believe in love and destiny and fate like Summer did in the end (see dialog below), I still think those lines are cool and worth to be minded.

Summer: Well, you know, I guess it's 'cause I was sitting in a deli and reading Dorian Gray and a guy comes up to me and asks me about it and now he's my husband.
Tom: Yeah. And so?
Summer: So, what if I'd gone to the movies? What if I had gone somewhere else for lunch? What if I'd gotten there 10 minutes later? It was - it was meant to be. And I just kept thinking..Tom was right.
Tom: No.
Summer: Yeah, I did. I did. It just wasn't me that you were right about.

The second is its taglines and its story of course.

The third is the philosophical thought in it

The fourth is its plot
Random. I like randomness.

The fifth is the cute idea of dating at IKEA.

It still needs et cetera. Holyshit, I do really love this movie.

Oh So Me

Dua-duanya Aku Suka

Aku banyak bicara.
Tapi kalau ada yang bersedia lebih banyak bicara,
Aku mau dengar.

Aku suka sekali mendengar.
Tapi didengarkan lebih menyenangkan.
Padahal.

Aku suka cerita.
Ber- dan Di-.
Dua-duanya aku suka.

Me Book

I am a book. Read me. You don't have to understand every single word. Just read. Read sentence by sentence only once and then what you get from it is what you do really think about me. I am a book. Read me. Open the pages, slowly, not in a rush. I'm fragile, you might tear me apart. Open the pages with knowing, knowing where page you're on. At least, if you're too lazy to remember the number, just put something between the pages so you don't have to search me again, you don't have to go back and start over or maybe go too far. You may miss the good parts in me. I am a book. Read me. Understand the title-chapter, its like what comes from my mouth. Most of the times, the title doesn't represent what exactly I'm trying to say. You should give a try to read the whole chapter then you'll know what I mean. If it's not suitable, you can say I'm lying. Its not wrong if you're mad at me, you don't know the author anyway. I am a book. Read me. I have ending. Help me know my ending, because I can go to the last page by my self. I am a book. Read me. I really wish you enjoy my story, or furthermore, live it with me. And when you feel that I'm a boring book then don't want to continue reading me, it's okay. Just remember what made you pick me formerly, remember what I had that made you caught on me. My ugly and dusty cover? My colorful pages? Or the synopsis on the back that I don't even know? Or was it because people's reviews about me? By the way, be careful, those people behind the reviews aren't always right, they are subjective in a wrong ways. I am a book. Read me. And I will read you.

1,2,3

˙dn sn ʞɐǝɹq oʇ pǝʞsɐ oɥʍ ʇnoqɐ ʇɹɐd ǝɥʇ ʎllɐıɔǝdsǝ 'ƃuıllǝʇ ʎɹoʇs ƃuıop ʇɐ ɹǝsol ɐ ʇnq 'ǝuıɯ ƃuıǝq ʇɐ ɥƃnouǝ pooƃ ˙ǝɔɐɟ-ǝsǝuıɥɔ sɐɥ ǝɥ ʇɐɥʇ ɐǝpı sıɥ ʇɹoddns oʇ ǝʌɐɥ ı ˙ʇı uıɐldxǝ ǝɯ ʇǝl ʇ,uop ¿ʎɥʍ ˙ʎnƃ ɐ ɯıɥ llɐɔ plnoɥs ı ˙3

  ˙ɹǝqɯnu ʎʞɔnl sıɥ ǝʞıl sɯǝǝs ɹnoɟ ˙ʞɹǝɾ ɐ ʇnq ǝsou looɔ ɐ ǝʌɐɥ ˙ǝʌol ʎddnd s,ǝʇɐɯssɐlɔ ʎɯ sɐʍ ǝɥ ˙ǝɟıl looɥɔs ʎɹɐʇuǝɯǝlǝ ʎɯ ɯoɹɟ ʎoq ɐ ˙2

 ˙ǝsnɐlddɐ ƃuıpuɐʇs ɐ ɯıɥ uǝʌıƃ ǝʌɐɥ plnoɥs ı ˙sʞǝǝʍ oʍʇ ʇnoqɐ ʇsnɾ ɹoɟ ǝuo ʍǝu ǝɥʇ ʇoƃ ǝɥ ʎɥʍ s,ʇɐɥʇ 'ƃuıɯɹɐɥɔ puɐ oıʞouıd ǝʞıl ʞool 'ʇɹɐǝɥ uǝʞoɹq ǝɹǝıɯǝɹd ʎɯ pǝʇsɐʇ ǝɯ ʇǝl oɥʍ ǝuo ǝɥʇ ˙1

It's That

You say I'm strange
That I don't fit in
It's that
I am a freak

I say stupid things
Laugh at not-funny-at-all joke
It's that
I am a freak

Seems like I won't never grow up
My parents let me stuck in my childhood
It's that
I am freak

I look like an anti-social
I don't like being a part of the crowd
It's that
I am a freak

I like something that usually be hated
I talk about it like it's the best
It's that
I am a freak

You shout the shit out
That it's cool if I just don't speak
It's that
I am a freak

I know I'm just a mess
If there's one thing I can ever be proud of
It's that
I am a freak

Why I

Why I'm wasting my precious time?
Why I always wait for my battery to be full so that I can listen to the music all the way?
Why I like biting my nails?
Why I like doing everything alone while there's people who are ready to help me?
Why I tweet about random things?
Why I talk too much?
Why I don't like starting the conversations?
Why I use trying-to-be-cute-autotexts in my every texts?
Why I mind that :) smiley is a fake smile in the real life?
Why I'm just listening to the songs that have cute lyrics in it?
Why I don't like those kind of people so much?
Why I'd rather not see, not read, or not hear than be in pain later?
Why I smile just to people who smiles to me first?
Why I can't make people laugh with my jokes?
Why I like singing in the bathroom?
Why I watch 500 days of summer and the notebook a thousand times?
Why I can't just shout out the words and be mean?
Why I 'm being a fan of Taylor Swift and Paramore?
Why I'm so restless yet like forcing myself not to sleep?
Why?
Well maybe its all because I am me.

I Know

I know I'm boring
I know I talk about useless and pointless things
I know I say stupid things
I know you think I'm stupid
I know you think my life so full with unimportant drama
I know I'm not like your other friends
I know you're fed up with my dummy tweets yet you're forced to follow me because we know each other
I know you hate it when I'm around you
I know you wish I could just disappear when I'm in front of you
I know I do weird things and you just say "Oh my" because of it
I know you think I'm so annoying when I say "Hello" and "Good bye"
I know I'm kinda old-fashioned
I know I'm not funny
I know I'm not cool
I know who I am
I know maybe you don't even want to call me as your friend
But although I know all those above
I still wanna be your friend
Having a wall-faced sounds nice for me to do

Sorry if I'm not a good friend,
Don't worry because I'm in my trial :-)

Who Am I?

The one who has watched (500) Days Of Summer and The Notebook a thousand times, the one who knows every Taylor Swift and Paramore's songs by heart.

Cheesy-so-random

Cheese oh Cheese,
Oh how I love the cheese.
So many cheeses,
Oh how I love the cheese.

I'm a cheesacious
But not a cheesay.
I like cheese cake,
but I don't like cheese meatball

Seriously where the hell they put the cheese?
Because I don't taste the cheese at all
Oh oh they're all liar
Oh oh I hate cheese meatball

Cheese oh Cheese,
Oh how I love the cheese.
So many cheeses,
Oh how I love the cheese.

Things I Love

♥ Falling asleep to the sound of rain
♥ Traveling to somewhere far by car
♥ Eating cheese with butter and milk
♥ Seeing somebody for the first time
♥ Finding songs which the lyrics are same with my story
♥ Having my playlist shuffle
♥ Winning a contest
♥ Being a big sister
♥ Crying happy tears
♥ When I go to a friend’s house and their parents say the words "You're welcome here anytime"
♥ When I find a super good old photo album on facebook that you've never stalked before
♥ Finding old messages and photos
♥ When my friends watch my favourite movie and they laugh hysterically at all the right parts and like it
♥ Watching chick flick movies with vanilla ice cream on the hand
♥ Seeing my favorite band live
♥ Staying up late with someone to talk on the phone
♥ Talking on the phone with somebody halfway across the world
♥ When I am sick and somebody surprises me with something nice
♥ When cute-stranger smiles at me
♥ Finally crawling into bed at home after a long vacation
♥ Looking up people's names on urbandictionary
♥ Getting good scores on my study
♥ When it's raining out and my friend tells me to text them when I'm home safe
♥ Being missed by someone I miss
♥ Listening to someone's stories
♥ Finally finishing something I've been worrying before
♥ When me and a boy like each other but pretend like I dont
♥ Being accepted into a new circle of friends
♥ Writing blog in the middle of the night
♥ Telling someone about the songs I like
♥ Feeling like everyone's happy near me
♥ That extra happy flashy feeling when I finally get home in my busy day
♥ Fitting my favorite clothes in my room
♥ Laughing, smiling even crying to see the pictures of my highschool's memories
♥ Walking out of campus in friday when I have a perfect weekend planned
♥ When my parents talk about me proudly in front of people without acting
♥ When someone whom I really want to make mine asks "would you be mine?"
♥ That sigh of relief when I just finished my assignments
♥ When someone call me their bestfriend
♥ Successfully clapping a mosquito right out of the air
♥ Getting anonymous messages and calls

Anak Bawang

Aku sembunyi di dalam selimut
Mata-mata itu mencariku
Sudah cukup pelik begini
Aku takut

Suaranya terdengar berulang-ulang
Memanggil seperti otomatis
Ini bukan suara kaset rusak
Rasanya jelas sekali maksud mereka

Apa kurang jelas mauku ya?
Aku cuma mau berhenti jadi anak bawang
Sederhana bukannya?
Aku cuma minta dianggap lebih saja kok

Tapi ya sepertinya seperti biasa
Sampai dewasa anak bawang selamanya jadi anak bawang

We Are Sitting Pretty

You're the apple in my eyes. You're the salt of the earth and also a peach. You make me crack up. I'm nuts about you when you're making eyes at her. Please don't monkey around. Don't cry wolf. You can't keep your head above water when I'm got a big mouth. I'm a long-winded talker so you'd better prick up your ears. Lets put your cards on the table. You can take the floor. Go ahead and sound off. Don't beat around the bush. Has the cat got your tongue?

That rings the bell. I hope you're not a wolf in sheep's clothing just like them. When you say all those words, do you mean it? Or you said it tongue in cheek? I'm going to flip my lid.

I'm big on you. I just want you be on the lookout for me. Maybe I'm just a wet blanket, I'm not dressed to kill, I'm driving you up the wall, I can't hold a candle to her, I'm a blabbermouth, full of baloney and you're beat. But please you must hang in there, please hold on to your hat.

You and me. A penny for your thoughts. Is it for the birds? Will it melt in your mouth? Will we put that on ice? or maybe it happens once in a blue moon?

Its late. I need my beauty sleep. I'm going to hit the sack.

You Are

You're the bon to my jour
You're the chick to my flick
You're the hand to my phone
You're the note to my book
You're the canvas to my bag
You're the mars to my eille
You're the mathe to my matics
You're the back to my hug
You're the whipped to my cream
You're the french to my fries
You're the ham to my burger
You're the straw to my berry
You're the taylor to my swift
You're the bed to my cover
You're the choco to my chips
You're the head to my set
You're the marylin to my monroe
You're the the blue to my dress
You're the edward to my bella
You're the question to my mark
You're the 500 days of to my summer
You're the new to my york
You're the never to my land
You're the para to my more
You're the mayo to my naisse
You're the day to my dream
You're the cine to my phile
You're the ice to my cream
You're the british to my accent
You're the dear to my john
You're the peter to my pan
You're the big to my ben
You're the friday to my night
You're the ten to my nessee
You're the jack to my jill
You're the future to my husband
You're the maca to my rons
You're the the to my beatles
You're the french to my literature
You're the harry to my potter
You're the what to my if
You're the summer to my finn
You're the since to my rely
You're the cup to my cake