I Burn You

You're like stains, on my t-shirt, my favourite t-shirt

And it's not my fault, it's you spreading yourself on it

You're stains in white, and my t-shirt color is black

Said, you want to brighten me

Said, you hate to see me like this

But sorry honey, you're stains.

You're white I'm staring at

Feel my fingers rubbing you?

Feel my tears on you?

It is my favourite t-shirt

My daddy bought me

My mommy picked for me

You stupid stains.

Detergent can't wash you off my t-shirt

Maybe you're too evil that you're so strong

Maybe you're too white that people can't see

Can't see your sins.

I hate you stains.

I hate you.

I fuckin hate you that I burn you and my t-shirt.

2 days later, I will get over it anyway.

Huh

Bangun tidur aku liat rambutnya yang berantakan
Terus bilang "lucu.." berkali-kali
Dia masih aja asik tidur
Padahal mataharinya udah capek sendiri daritadi
Manasin orang-orang supaya bergerak
Biar ga males terus
Tapi ya dia emang kebal sama matahari
Kalau sama bulan, baru deh dia temenan
Jadi percuma juga aku teriakin kalau rambutnya lucu
Percuma aku pencetin idungnya
Percuma aku cubitin pipinya
Percuma abisnya sama aja
Dia lupa sama siang
Huh
Iri deh
Iri sama bulan
Dia deketan terus sama bulan
Giliran aku tidur, dia main game ditemenin bulan
Pas aku bangun, dia masih tidur soalnya ga ada temennya
Ya tapi tetep aja sih aku biasa aja
Kalau sama bulan dan game aku masih bisa
Asal ga kayak yang dulu-dulu
Mereka yang sering ditemenin blasteran bidadari - alien
Sampe lupa sama aku terus ninggalin
Sadar ga sih mereka bikin aku ketakutan terus sampe sekarang
Huh
Aku benci banget sama masa lalu
Eh balik lagi deh
Tadi ngomongin dia
Iya, dia masih tidur sampe sekarang

Petrichor

I'm not rainbow
I'm not filled with some colorful colors and stuffs
I don't show myself up proudly after the rain
Nobody's excited or waiting for me to beautify the sky
I don't even like rainbow at all

I'm petrichor
Just a smell that comes after the very first water of rain falls to the ground
Even people don't think I'm there and I'm not hoping so
I'm invisible, can't be seen
Can't be talked about for hours like rainbow

I'm petrichor
Nobody cares but,
At least I have a name.

Really

So this is the number I'm afraid of
I put my head on his shoulder and realized
All this time I'm this little girl who's stuck on bigger body
And for this kind of case, having a birthday is getting harder
I cry, I cry, I cry.
I really don't want to grow up, I just want to always be that little girl with plain mind
No worries, no sadness, no hurt feelings, no being left out
I don't want to grow up, I want to stay, even go back
With that kind of number from 1 to 10, I was the happiest
I even ever think that since 15, my mental stop growing up.
I don't want to be older.
I cry, I cry, I cry.
I realized more, there are so many things a grown up should do
Could I do all those things? Could I figure out anything?
I want to go back years before.
When everything is less complicated, easier.
I cry, I cry, I cry.

I really did this.
I really cried at me being old.

Who Killed Nancy?

Sid, listen to me tonight. I promise you I won't talk too much anymore.

Listen to whatever I say, is it too much to ask?

You see, these things around us are our best friends

Nothing to worry about, they won't get mad

Even they will just watch us reaching our heaven here

They are supporting us with their tastes, their smells, their liquids inside our blood

You're with me tonight, right?

Stop yelling, stop arguing, stop anything 

We just repeat the same thing for over 2 years

Hug me, kiss me, make love to me.

You're with me tonight, right?

In this hotel room number 100 called our kingdom of getting high

We just have to stay on our bed, side by side

Don't go, we just have to wait, the servants will come here

They will give us exactly what we need the most

Sid, you're still here, aren't you?

Who kills me, Sid?

Who kills me?

Who kills me, Sid?

I know you wouldn't do this

Sid, you already left before that knife stabbed my tummy, didn't you?

Sid, answer me.

You're the bravest man I've ever known, tell the world you didn't do it

Tell the world that you love me so much that's why we've been together all this time

I love you, Sid.

I love you too much that I don't want you to live anymore if I died

Who killed me 6 months ago, Sid?

I know its not you, baby.

Lets get high again

His Sid Vicious & Her Nancy Spungen

Dia

Dia terlalu menyedihkan untuk hal semenyenangkan ini

Dia mau, tapi tidak berani

Dia bisa, tapi sekitarnya memaksa untuk mengurungkan niatnya

Pulangkan saja dia, pulang ke bawah tempat tidur

Seberapa canggih pun permet karet yang habis dikunyahnya

Tak cukup kuat menempelkan gelap di terang itu

Dia kalah telak, dia sendirian

Apapun yang terjadi setelah ini, dia bisa mati

Teriakannya yang ragu tidak terdengar

Siapa juga yang bersedia membuka telinga untuknya?

Sampai serak, sampai tenggorokannya terluka

Dia tetap sendirian

Kasihan.

Anak mama.

Kalian

Kalian tahu gemerincing tawa yang kalian hasilkan lalu kalian sebarkan seolah kalian dewa?
Kalian lupa bagaimana harusnya makhluk sejenis kalian bersikap lalu berkata seenaknya
Kalian bilang cinta tapi lalu bilang cinta lagi pada orang yang berbeda
Kalian berpelukan saling berkata kalian setia sampai kalian tiba di neraka
Kalian panas.

Kalian tahu kenapa titik-titik merah itu betah bertengger bahagia di wajah kalian yang melepuh?
Kalian terlalu menganggap yang selain kalian itu cuma keringat di bawah telapak kaki
Kalian saling cerca bukannya?
Kalian mendaki samudera dengan balon udara tapi lupa membawa selimut
Kalian dingin.

Kalian.
Kalian pelupa.

Dua-duanya Aku Suka

Aku banyak bicara.
Tapi kalau ada yang bersedia lebih banyak bicara,
Aku mau dengar.

Aku suka sekali mendengar.
Tapi didengarkan lebih menyenangkan.
Padahal.

Aku suka cerita.
Ber- dan Di-.
Dua-duanya aku suka.

It's That

You say I'm strange
That I don't fit in
It's that
I am a freak

I say stupid things
Laugh at not-funny-at-all joke
It's that
I am a freak

Seems like I won't never grow up
My parents let me stuck in my childhood
It's that
I am freak

I look like an anti-social
I don't like being a part of the crowd
It's that
I am a freak

I like something that usually be hated
I talk about it like it's the best
It's that
I am a freak

You shout the shit out
That it's cool if I just don't speak
It's that
I am a freak

I know I'm just a mess
If there's one thing I can ever be proud of
It's that
I am a freak

Yakin

aku mengetik ini sambil tersenyum sekarang
malam-malam begini malah melayang
habisnya aku merasa seperti disayang
jujur saja aku suka

makanya sekarang aku takut
takut kamu pergi
takut kamu merasa aku kurang baik buat kamu
takut rasa sayang kamu hilang

padahal kita masih sebentar
menurut kamu wajar atau gimana?
aku aneh ya?
ya sepertinya

habisnya aku kadang merasa kurang pantas buat kamu
tapi lalu aku ingat kata-kata kamu dulu
menenangkan lalu aku percaya
aku yakin kamu beda

Cuma Tanggal

Kalau dipikir-pikir tanggal satu itu spesial
Awal yang wah begitulah
Lumayan kan bahagia sementara
Dan selalu dimulai dari angka pertama

Diajak jalan-jalan keliling taman
Lihat bunga lihat rumput
Sampai ditarik masuk labirin
Anehnya sama sekali tidak takut

Matanya sudah buta
Sekalipun hidungnya berfungsi
Tapi tidak sadar juga
Bau menusuk itu dibiarkan saja

Pada akhirnya
Tanggal ya cuma tanggal

Created on December 2011

Sorry Not Sorry

I'm sorry you have to listen to my pointless stories
I can't stop talking
Because finally I have you to tell everything

I'm sorry I easily miss you
I always want to meet you
Because finally I have you to be with me

I am sorry I am a needy girl
I need you every time
Because finally I have you to share anything

I am sorry I say "sorry" too much
Its all because I don't wanna be something
Something that you'll let go someday

And I am so happy for being with you
I can be myself, you can be yourself
I'm not sorry for letting you in, Mr. Tall.

Cheesy-so-random

Cheese oh Cheese,
Oh how I love the cheese.
So many cheeses,
Oh how I love the cheese.

I'm a cheesacious
But not a cheesay.
I like cheese cake,
but I don't like cheese meatball

Seriously where the hell they put the cheese?
Because I don't taste the cheese at all
Oh oh they're all liar
Oh oh I hate cheese meatball

Cheese oh Cheese,
Oh how I love the cheese.
So many cheeses,
Oh how I love the cheese.

Anak Bawang

Aku sembunyi di dalam selimut
Mata-mata itu mencariku
Sudah cukup pelik begini
Aku takut

Suaranya terdengar berulang-ulang
Memanggil seperti otomatis
Ini bukan suara kaset rusak
Rasanya jelas sekali maksud mereka

Apa kurang jelas mauku ya?
Aku cuma mau berhenti jadi anak bawang
Sederhana bukannya?
Aku cuma minta dianggap lebih saja kok

Tapi ya sepertinya seperti biasa
Sampai dewasa anak bawang selamanya jadi anak bawang

Stop Saying

Stop saying you love me,
when you don't love me.

Stop saying you miss me,
when you don't miss me.

Stop saying you understand me,
when you don't even try to understand.

Stop saying you want to meet me,
when you just bored to be alone.

Stop saying you care about me,
when you don't even remember to ask
about my day.

Stop saying you're sorry,
when you don't even know what your mistake is.

Stop saying you want to make me happy,
when all of your words keep hurting me.

Stop,
Lying that you want to be with me.
Because I know,
You don't want to.

Day to Day

We met and said hi to each other
We had a little-talk
So little even we didnt know what we were talking about
Then we stopped

A few days later
we tried to make a written-conversation
The useless one
But at least it made me smile

You saw me, I saw you
Caught up then smiled to each other
Said one-two-words
And said see you soon

We continued our conversation
And it was awkward because I was kinda waiting
and that smile got bigger and bigger
eventhough it was just your simple reply

Day to day
What so sad was I put my hopes on you
It was out of my control and I couldnt stop
I was talking about you here

And day to day
You were fastly disappearing

Words Freak

I first, like month you ago. A

after. you Even dont. Never.

acted dont when passed I to you. by how

I first the when greet time. jumped got your for

in after to ballerina. talked, danced a I room bad you we my such

happy wished. I thats so am is because all I

much. too about I Maybe, talk you

you Thats habit pushed stupid away. my

there's phone, no anymore. but everytime checked I you my

you, you off but my got I saw sight.

see it pretend to didnt hard I was you. Now,

really think you I will who am do think I

bad I you so miss because you

Apples Bananas

sekelilingku hampa
buah apel yang merah-merah itu berubah busuk
sepertinya digerogoti cacing ya
cacingnya jahat

aku diam lalu melangkah lagi
aku menemukan yang lain lagi
pisang, tapi tinggal kulitnya
kemana isinya ya?

pikiranku mulai keruh
aku mau apel dan pisangku yang dulu
yang lucu-lucu
yang manis-manis

padahal baru aku tinggal sebentar

See Ya Alphabets

waktu cepat ya
maunya sih diperlambat
tapi tombolnya hilang
kesedihan jadi cepat juga datangnya

semakin kesini semakin jelas
kehilangan semuanya
kehilangan alfabetku
dari a sampai z

menerawang jelas ke sisi lain
masih banyak sih alfabet lain nanti
tapi aku sudah cocok sama yang ini
sayang sekali ya

sampai jumpa alfabetku
sampai jumpa waktu kalian sudah jadi huruf kapital

Learned!

People change. Feelings change.

As day pass by everything changes.

He's not him anymore. You're not you anymore.

Everybody is not them anymore. I'm not me anymore.

I'm growing up and slowly believing what my daddy said,

"Dont love too much in your age"

I think he's right,

because he met my mommy when he was 23 not 18

Its not because the love isn't real and true when we're young.

Its simply because when we're growing, we're growing apart.

We got so many things in the middle ,

We lost so many things either.

We got our first love, felt so happy,

but then we stop thinking about it.

We got our first heartbreak, full of pain,

but then we're healed and move on.

See?